… wherever there is evil, there’s a lie around. Evil always has something to do with lies.” M. Scott Peck, M.D, People of the Lie
A moment of clarity came over me this week – over the course
of a few days.
Processing all the hurt and damage from the monster’s abuse has been painful. The moments of clarity, while good, tend to have me feel anger all over again.
Continue reading “His lies”
Sex, supply and sourcing – nothing’s a surprise with NPD.
Once again, I find myself livid over my monster’s past actions. If the infidelities weren’t enough, he had been “
sourci n g supply” off and on for years. And while he says he wasn’t aware of what he was doing while seeking supply, the damage is done – especially since he received an email today from one of the women he’d been chatting with. Continue reading “Sex, Supply and Sourcing – More Pain Caused by NPD”
Many years I walked on eggshells due to his rage outbursts. I am afraid of my husband.
In my last post , I touched on anger and abuse. Today, I want to address fear.
I am afraid of my husband.
I never, ever thought I’d utter those words. But as the
memories of abuse flood me, that fear is real.
Why? He never hit me.
I told him the other day I wish he had.
If my monster had hit me 21 years ago when he was on what we now know call his “Narcissistic Bender,” I would have taken our kids and left. Never, ever would I allow a man to hit me. Ever.
If my monster had hit me, I wouldn’t have endured years of
verbal and emotional abuse.
For that, I am so very, very angry at him.
Continue reading “I am afraid of my husband”